Growing old

Yesterday I spent some time at the doctors with my 87 year old grandmother.  She hasn't been well of late and as she lives alone I thought I would take her to her appointment.  She is slowly deteriorating, ailments and illness added to her complaints every day.  As I sat in the doctors room and watched, listened and interpreted for her I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sadness.

The grandmother that I remember fondly - and sometimes not so fondly :) has become a shadow of herself.  She used to be a robust, opinionated strong as an ox woman ( I not so fondly remember her backhanders)  Today she looked frail, scared, confused and in the simplest word, defeated.

Even the simplest doctors instructions seemed confusing to her, her eyes glazing over with confusion.  I could see she was desperately trying to complete the diagnostic tests ( follow finger with eyes etc), it just took her so much longer, even trying to put her coat on as we were leaving was a marathon effort.

When I finally took her home and organised her lunch and medication - has anyone noticed how overprescribed older people are ? The amount of meds taken is crazy,  I put her on the couch placed her stable table on her lap, covered her legs with a blanket and just stood there and looked at her - it was almost a full circle.  I remember her doing that to me when I was sick, tucking me in, getting me soup, camomile honey teas and keeping me warm.  I had a little cry as I went home, just thinking about how hard and frustrating it must be for her, for all old people, especially the ones that are still living independently in their homes, trying to fend for themselves, without much outside support.  I remember that she wasn't the easiest person to get along with or live with at times but really, who cares? She's old now, unable to do what she used to.  Im glad she has had the opportunity to meet so many great grandchildren and be a part of my children's lives - they are all so fortunate.

It is so important for us to maintain our health and fitness as we get older.  Our physical and also our mental health is so important especially as we near into our later years.  Ensuring that we also exercise our brain.  Doing puzzles and crosswords, learning new languages, playing instruments, reading and most importantly staying active in conversations with people.  This will all help in keeping the mind active for longer.

Im hoping my grandmothers bad spell doesn't last too long and that she is back to her normal self soon.  Older yes, slower yes but still busy in life.  I found a beautiful letter that I wanted to post today which made me shed a tear, although written from mother to daughter Im sure it can relate to grandmothers too.

If you're lucky enough to still have grandparents alive make sure you pick up the phone and give them a call.  Just one phone call will make their day, and break the monotony of their day.....

The Found Essay: Letter from a Mother to a Daughter*

Source: Spring in the Air

“My dear girl,
the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

 If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago.” Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. 

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? 

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way. Remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair, and dealing with life’s issues every day.

 The day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. 

 If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient, or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. 

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. 

When those days come, don’t feel sad—just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. 

I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. 

With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you, my darling daughter.”